Unveiling the Power of Pleasure: A Journey into Sex Positivity.

A Journey into Sex Positivity.

Being open and progressive about sex, with a focus on consent and pleasure, is what it means to be sex positive. Seems quite simple, but it may get very complex when applied to real-world situations. The public’s perception of sex has changed as a result of the disclosure of sexual harassment and abuse, the fight for the acceptance of transgender persons, and worries about the necessity of objective sexual education. Though much work remains, narratives regarding sexual experiences are beginning to receive the recognition they deserve. How can we use sex positivity in particular ways to help us and move our culture closer to inclusivity in light of all this change?

Recognizing What Sexual Positivity Doesn’t Indicate

It’s crucial to first dispel common misconceptions about what it means to be sex positive. Your attitude about sex is the only thing that defines being sex positive. It does not specify the quantity of sex you have, the persons you choose to have sex with, or the style of sex you have (other than consented). Just as much sex positivity can be found in A-sexuals as in casual and frequent users of sex.

Learning About Anatomy, Gender, Sexuality, and Other People’s Sexual Experiences

Understanding sex outside of your personal 

Experiences is essential to sex positivity. Yes, knowing more about our bodies, minds, and health can help us have better sex, but it’s equally critical to learn about other people. Furthermore, you are the one who has to provide this education; marginalized people are not responsible for it!

Not sure where to begin? Consider reading a book about transgenderism; Nicholas M. Tech’s “Transgender 101” is a fantastic starting point. Discover the history of sex workers through first-hand recollections (‘Spread’ is a fantastic compilation of a magazine made by sex workers, authored and defined by the employees themselves). Learn about polyamory and open partnerships to broaden your perspective on relationships and monogamy (Dossie Easton and Janet Harby’s classic book “The Ethical Slut” is a great place to start). Recognize the principles, outlook, and behaviors of kink and BDSM (try reading Tristan Taormino’s “The Ultimate Guide to Kink” for some information).

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In Favor of an Alternate Story

After learning about other people’s sexual experiences, show them your support, especially if they are underprivileged or ostracized. Give to Planned Parenthood in order to promote impartial access to sexual health services. Fight laws that limit access to resources for sexual health and that discriminate on the basis of gender and sexual orientation. Allow yourself to be exposed to erotica and pornography featuring a wide range of bodies in production. Point out bias in the talks you have, the events you attend, and the organizations you lend your support to.

Recognizing the Dangers of Sexual Activity

Sexual activity carries a number of hazards and dangers, which can be difficult to accept at times. Does this mean we can’t have the sex we desire because of this? No way! But realizing the value of healthy sexual relations for both you and your partners is a crucial component of sex positivity. Regular testing, talking to partners about past sexual encounters, utilizing STI barriers, and having conversations about birth control are all examples of safe sex.

Recognizing that many people’s experiences include sexual abuse and violence

Being open to and conscious of the negative aspects of sex, including sexual violence and abuse, is another aspect of being sex positive. According to RAINN, a sexual assault occurs in the United States every 98 seconds, and one in six women will either be raped or have a rape attempt made against them in their lifetime. Given these startling statistics, it’s imperative that we recognize the trauma that many people experience related to sex. We need to give these survivors a voice and give them a voice in the struggle to end sexual harassment and abuse. Rather than defining them by the terrible things they have gone through, we should use this knowledge to support these survivors and their stories. 

Recognizing Your Toxic Conduct and Breaking Bad Habits

It’s critical to recognize the ways in which you can be impeding the advancement of sex positivity. It might be challenging to see when your behavior is detrimental at times, which is why it’s critical to be thoughtful in your reactions and receptive to criticism. In our early years, the media, our families, friends, religion, or skewed sexual education can all teach us bad behaviors and ideas about sex. Perhaps you laugh at jokes that are disrespectful to victims of sexual assault, hold some prejudice against homosexuals, won’t listen to others discussing sexual assault, or find it annoying to discuss sex with your spouse. These actions can be challenging to unlearn but are integral to being sex positive.

Recognize Your Bad Sexual Experiences and Take Lessons From Them

Most of us have experienced one or more indiscernible to truly horrible sexual experience. It’s okay! It doesn’t follow that all of your sex will be positive just because you have a positive outlook on it. Sometimes the path to having the kind of sex you desire involves having some awful sex, admitting it was bad, and growing from it. Don’t try to brush our negative experiences, misunderstandings, and embarrassing moments from our past away as if they never happened. They are excellent teaching opportunities. It’s possible to stop such incidents from happening in the future by reflecting a little.

Asking for Help When You Need It

It’s critical to recognize when you need support in your personal sexual life if you want to actively participate in the sex positive movement. You can support your own sexual welfare in a number of ways, including by joining support groups, accessing information online, consulting a doctor about your sexual health, attending couples or individual therapy, and having frank conversations with friends and partners about sexual concerns.

Striking Up Discussions, But Not at Your Own Risk

Lastly, even though having an open dialogue is crucial to being sex positive, remember to respect your own boundaries on the topics you feel comfortable talking about. Do not feel obligated to participate in the #MeToo movement if you are not ready to, just because others feel inspired to share their experiences of sexual harassment. It’s acceptable to ignore a topic if it triggers too many memories of your personal pain. It’s acceptable to exclude oneself from certain talks if doing so will improve your mental health.

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