How To Overcome Painful Sex and Strengthen Relationships

How To Overcome Painful Sex and Strengthen Relationships

Anyone you know who has been in a long-term relationships will undoubtedly tell you so many things that it will make your head spin when you ask them how they manage to keep it together. However, effort is essential in any relationship because, to paraphrase Violet Bridgerton in Queen Charlotte, if a garden is neglected, it will never flourish or even live.

However, unanticipated issues can arise in gardens occasionally, and we must also learn how to handle those issues. Finding out that you or your spouse has vaginismus could be one of those events in a sexual relationship. Being informed on what to expect and how to keep your relationship (or garden) healthy is one of the best strategies to deal with unforeseen events. Some important medication for erectile dysfunction Sildalist strong 140 mg, Vidalista 80 mg.

So, what precisely is vaginismus?

Vaginal penetration pain may be caused by a genito-pelvic pain penetration disease called vaginismus (vaj-uh-niz-muhs). The involuntary contraction of the pelvic floor muscles is considered to be the cause.

Clinicians and physical therapists may refer to a patient with vaginismus as having a “hypertonic,” or strongly clenched, pelvic floor. It indicates that you have trouble getting your pelvic floor muscles to relax.

Vaginal penetration by a finger, speculum, or tampon can all produce pain or discomfort; however, unpleasant intercourse is frequently linked to vaginismus. The official word for any kind of discomfort experienced during sexual activity is dyspareunia (pronounced dis-puh-roon-ia). However, there are many other possible causes of this condition, many of which do not include vaginismus.

What should I do if the relationship involves painful sex for one of us?

Problems in your relationship may arise if you suffer painful sex due to vaginismus and neither you nor your spouse address the painful penetration. Because it hurts, one or both of you may choose to simply stop having sex, which could leave unspoken strain in your relationship. Both of you may expect sex to be difficult if you don’t talk about painful sexual experiences or cooperate to find relief from the pain or discomfort. This could cause you to avoid having sex at all. Additionally, science supports the notion that you should talk to your partner about uncomfortable sexual experiences.

Researchers did not find much information in the Journal of Public Health when searching for data. They concluded from the paucity of data that women were not discussing sexual concerns with either their partners or their healthcare providers. Of course, rather than focusing only on medical studies, we always search for [anecdotal data] stories about these types of things from actual individuals. Writer Kelly Gonsalves of Hello Giggles talked about uncomfortable sex with a number of couples. One couple said, “We were both still very sexually active with each other and didn’t go dormant like many relationships that go through this. Open dialogue was a really huge part of our success.” Thus, it was crucial in this instance to communicate as well as to preserve intimacy and sexual activity.

Shop Now – Aurogra 100 mg

What are the symptoms of vaginismus?

How does one experience vaginismus? Everybody experiences vaginismus differently, and so do the symptoms. When attempting to insert anything into the vagina, many people report feeling as though they have encountered a “wall.” Others report burning, stinging, or constriction of the vagina; for many, this is excruciating discomfort. Significant distress, fear, and difficulties penetrating the vagina can result from these symptoms.

Even though painful sex is not always a sign of vaginismus, it is frequently found during attempts at penetrative intercourse. Vaginismus sufferers frequently experience pain during speculum exams, find it difficult to insert a tampon for menstrual flow, or struggle to utilize vibrators or self-stimulation during masturbation.

For a long time, vaginismus was either disregarded entirely or seen as a purely psychiatric disorder. Women who experienced painful sex were frequently told it was “in their head” and were hardly ever checked for underlying medical issues. In the past, the presence of muscle spasm was necessary for vaginismus to meet the diagnostic criteria listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

The variety of vaginismus symptoms, however, may not be fully captured by this diagnosis of vaginismus based solely on spasms, according to recent research. As a result, “vaginismus” was eliminated from the DSM 5 and replaced with a more inclusive group of illnesses known as “genito-pelvic pain/penetration disorders” (GPPPD). This spectrum-based approach highlights the fact that vaginismus-related problems involve different degrees of pain, fear, muscle contraction, and penetration difficulties.

Although this is a complex topic, we would like to be clear that these symptoms, which you may refer to as pelvic floor tightness, vaginismus, or GPPPD, are not mental.

To ensure you receive the proper care, we advise you to discuss your symptoms with your provider if you believe you may be suffering from vaginismus or any other type of genito-pelvic pain.

Which therapies are available for vaginismus?

First, pause for a moment to acknowledge that you belong to a female community. An increasing number of resources are available to help people with vaginismus connect with one another.

Second, vaginismus treatment is personalized for YOU. Being aware of your body’s requirements is a key component in learning how to manage vaginismus symptoms. Pelvic floor relaxation may be necessary if the majority of your symptoms are spastic. If you have had sexual trauma and are overly afraid of having sex, you may benefit from regular talk therapy along with desensitization therapy using dilation. Here is a summary of the most common approaches to treating vaginismus. See which one or ones might be right for you.

Pelvic floor treatment:

Pelvic floor relaxation techniques are typically the first step in the initial therapy of vaginismus. This entails breathing exercises and strategies that teach your pelvic muscles to deliberately relax, so lessening excruciating spasms. The majority of these exercises may be done comfortably in your own home, but physical therapists with specialized training can help make sure you’re doing the exercises correctly and can often speed up the process.


Many types of therapy, including couple’s therapy, sex therapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), are frequently used to treat vaginismus.

You work with therapists (commonly referred to as “sex therapists”) in sex therapy, also known as psychosexual therapy, to treat sexual issues. You may become knowledgeable about sensate focus5, a methodical technique for achieving non-penetration intimacy with a relationship, or you may discover techniques for communicating your symptoms to your spouse.

CBT is a type of conversation therapy where the goal is to break distressing cognitive patterns. (Surprise! CBT techniques are incorporated into every Rosy Wellness Plan.)

The aim of treatment is the same, despite the differences throughout modalities: to lessen fear and anxiety while enhancing intimacy, confidence, and sexual health.


Vaginal dilators are a typical tool used in the desensitization process to treat vaginismus. There is no one-size-fits-all dilator, just as there is no one-size-fits-all method of treating vaginismus. One such is Milli, a special vaginal dilator made to match your particular vaginismus requirements. The only dynamic vaginal dilator available, Milli, offers a graduated size, all-in-one method to assist you in starting dilation therapy. Depending on your demand for dilatation, Milli extends or retracts, giving you control over the process of gradually training your vaginal muscles to control pain during sexual activity caused by vaginismus.

Any dilator’s objective is to gradually desensitize your body to ever higher levels of vaginal penetration. Dilators are helpful, much like in other exposure therapy modalities reduce the fear and anxiety associated with vaginal penetration, which can in turn help your pelvic muscles relax and break the cycle of pain.


A new treatment option for vaginismus is botox, particularly for people who cannot handle dilator therapy. In order to lessen muscle spasms, intravaginal Botox injections are administered under local or general anesthesia.

The multimodal strategy:

It is crucial to keep in mind that vaginismus is a physical, psychosexual, and mental illness. The most effective strategies therefore incorporate a variety of modalities and tactics. Multiple therapies are used instead of only one in clinical studies that provide the highest therapeutic success rates. We advise you to discuss potential strategies that might be most effective for you with your provider.

Open communication with your partner(s) and your healthcare physician is the first thing you should do if you start having painful sex, regardless of the treatment approach you choose. You can then begin working on your journey to take control of vaginismus causing an unexpected change in your sexual health.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are makes.

Select an available coupon below